Perl - Beagle
Home: Indianapolis, IN
Birthday: Mon, January 23 2006
Gender: Female
Weight: 25 lbs
Health issue
Tue, July 03 2007
So, this morning the large female biped took me in to the vet's. I've had a bit of a rough go of it lately. I'm smaller than Bea. . .
Songs Now Being Collected
Tue, March 18 2008
My songs and poems, such as they are, are now available in one central location. No muss, no fuss, no more indypaws unreliabilit. . .
Best birthday present ever!
Daddy's birthday present was a bit late this year, but oh was it worth the wait! I got a raccoon of my very own to attack! Unfor. . .
Cat Must Go
That's it, this cat has to leave. For two weeks he stayed in the laundry room; fine. Not great, since he wouldn't play and there. . .
Pet Me Daddy - A Poem
[To Lita Ford's "Kiss Me Deadly"]
I ran at a cat that was in the back yard,
I slipped on a branch and my nose got jarred.
. . .
We Need a Coonhound!
Lunar, where are you?!?! http://tweetphoto.com/9010426. . .
Tchah! Bipeds ...
So, because this cat is here and possibly threatening my power base, I decided to catch a mouse last night. Long story short, I . . .
I'm Just Wild about Pig Ears
[Based on "I'm Just Wild about Harry" by Eubie Blake and Noble Sissle]
There's one special treat that I adore.
And who could. . .
This Ain't Right
The female biped has decided to bring in a feral cat for now. It is confined to the laundry toom. He's getting the old snipperoo. . .
Butt Sniffin - A Poem
[Based on "Barefootin'" by
Robert Parker]
Everybody get up on your paws
We got a new dance that'll curl your claws.
There. . .
Ears - A Poem
[Based on ZZ Top's "Legs"]
She's got ears that hang down so low.
And when she walks they swing to and fro.
When she drinks,. . .
Death, Where Is Thy Sting?
This is what I got: http://www.marvistavet.com/html/body_canine_struvite_bladder_stones.html
No more table scraps for me ...
. . .
Doing Well
Well, y'all, I am up and doing with a heart for any fate ... The day I came home from surgery I was ready to chase squirrels and. . .
Land of 1000 Dog Breeds - A Song
[Based on Wilson Pickett's version of Chris Kenner's "Land of 1000 Dances"]
Growl! Woof! Bark!
Wowl! Boof! Grark!
You got. . .
Surgery Done
The vet just called and Perl is out of surgery and okay. Groggy and sore as heck, but okay. She'll be getting plenty of rest and. . .
Double Damnation
Okay, my bladder infection is back ... in truth, it never went away.
I got sick last night, vomiting six times. Also, at one . . .
This Is Bliss - A Song
(based on Roxy Music's "More Than This")
I could wag all the time
If you keep belly-rubbing.
Cause it feels so sublime
Tha. . .
HSI Foster Appreciation Day
HSI kindly threw a bash in honor of me, Perl, for helping with their foster dog program. I got to show off how I've trained my b. . .
Husky Behind - A Song
[Based on "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who]
No pug knows what it's like
To be always racing
To be always chasing
Husky behind. . .
Wow
Apparently Beauregard has recently eaten a rancid skunk corpse with a side serving of cabbage. Daddy and I were grooving to Guit. . .
All Right Chow - A Song
[Based on Free's "All Right Now"]
Arf! Arf! Arf!
I walked down a strange street.
Waggin' and skippin' on my feet.
I look. . .
Deer!
I'm chasing deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! *puff puff puff* Deer! Deer! Deer! . . .
Harumph!
So, Daddy has a spare ticket for today's Colts game (lower level end zone, no less!) and he's not taking me! That's ridiculous! . . .
Perl the Queenly Beagle - A Song
[Based on "Puff the Magic Dragon" by Peter, Paul, and Garfarkel]
Perl the Queenly Beagle barked 'neath the tree
And looked u. . .
One Week with Beagles - A Song
[Based on Murray Head's "One Night in Bangkok"]
[THE BIPED]
Beagles! What a weirdo dog breed!
And this biped feels like he'. . .
Oo Boy, I Overate
So, at lunch the female biped (who works nearby) came here to let us out, etc. I, being the good dog who does not chew and is no. . .
Well, let's not do that again
The bipeds got breakfast from some place called The Kolache Factory. Someone in the house scored a dropped piece, but it was the. . .
More health scares
So, that mouse in the pantry. They put some rat poison into a small gap to get it. Guess who got into it? Yep, me, miss two knee. . .
Vick is Back
Yes, Mike Vick, aka Ron Mexico, the man who lied to the FBI and the NFL commissioner and his team owner and his coach, has been . . .
Sweet Pug of Mine - A Song
[Based on Neil Damond's "Sweet Caroline"]
Slept in the chair
Then snuck into the kitchen;
That's when I heard the crinkle s. . .
Frau Biped's Spy - A Poem
[Based on After the Fire's version of Falco's "Der Kommissar"]
Two, three, four!
Eins, zwei, drei,
I cannot see why
You . . .
Sophie's Back
Do you remember Sophie, a dachshund we fostered last summer while she was recovering from heartworm? Well, she's back. No, not p. . .
Friday Song Competition
Hello, all. Recently we were playing Guitar Hero III and both became inspired by the Stone Roses song "She Bangs the Drum". We c. . .
I Got the Treat - A Poem
[with apologies to the Go-Gos ... sorry, just realized what I said]
See the biped coming through the door.
Big 'n' grumpy, l. . .
Dead possum!
Perl: There's a dead possum in the underbrush, Beau!
Beau: Where's he from?
Perl: What?
Beau: What's his diocese?
Pe. . .
Inconceivable - A Poem
[Based on EMF's big hit Unbelievable]
(Woof!
Arf arf arf! ...
Who the heck are you?)
They picked me up from a shelter,. . .
Deer!
Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Deer! Oh. . .
New House!
We've moved! Having rid Southport and surrounding 'burbs of rodent infestation (more or less), we have moved to the Carmel area,. . .
Ugh
Yeah, mom's half-Polish. http://twitpic.com/6xsyl. . .
Livin' in Southport ... - A Poem
The Livin' in Southport Beagle Girl Blues
[based on Todd Snider's "Talkin' Seattle Grunge Rock Blues"]
My my hey hey
E. . .
She Saves Shelter Dogs - A Poem
[Based on "She Sells Sanctuary" by The Cult; I think I owe Ian Astbury dinner at St. Elmo's. And I have to admit, this just isn'. . .
Mutt Strut
I would like to thank everyone who came out to the track for the small party to celebrate me this last weekend. We had fun. Not . . .
Squirrel Way Up High - A Poem
[Based on Journey's "Wheel in the Sky". Rather embarrassing, actually.]
I’m sitting here again, outside,
Under the oak, fo. . .
Varmintful Perfidy - A Poem
[Based on Queensyche's "Silent Lucidity"]
Biped, look here now.
You just nearly made me have a cow.
You’re sitting smug i. . .
Popcorn, Right Now - A Poem
[Based on Right Here Right Now by Jesus Jones]
A biped at the kitchen stove, talks of
Making popcorn, and I’m already sitt. . .
Feeling better
Guess what? I'm starting to use my left leg already. It's still not healed, of course, but I'm doing SO much better than I was a. . .
Woah
Dudes and dudettes, I now know why tramadol is prescription only. Take one of these little babies and even 70s pop music sounds . . .
Knee Surgery Again
Well heck. My left rear knee has been bothering me lately, and now Daddy is taking me in to have the same surgery on it that I h. . .
My Saluki - A Song
[With apologies to The Knack. Gad, did I really write that?]
Ooh, you're such a pretty dog, I'm agog.
You're so cool it bl. . .
Varmint 2 - A Poem
[Based on “Song 2” by Blur, aka the “Woohoo” song]
Awroo-hoo!
Awroo-hoo!
Awroo-hoo!
Awroo-hoo!
I see a chipmunk. . .
Harumph!
Mom is making fun of my eating habits again.
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3514501
. . .
VD Presents
For Valentine's Day, Beauregard gave me a rope bone and I gave him a clout on the ear.. . .
Repost on Laff-a-Thon
http://www.indypaws.com/post/index/23926
This is not only a great event that will help raise money for the Humane Society of . . .
Gonna Have Possum for Dinner
Okay, not only have the squirrels been going at it like rabbits lately, but this morning when Beau and I went out for our mornin. . .
Breed Myself a Setter - A Poem
[With sincerest apologies to the late great Fats Waller]
I'm gonna sit right down and breed myself a setter.
And make believ. . .
Snow Must Go
While I love playing in the snow, and could do it all day, it has one very unfortunate side-effect: burying my nose in the snow . . .
BFF - A Poem
[With apologies to the late Frank and the current Moon Unit Zappa; based on "Valley Girl".]
[Band]
BFF, she's a BFF.
BFF,. . .
15 sharks die at Indy zoo
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-in-sharkdeaths,0,3004402.story
Upon hearing the news, The American Bar Association . . .
Squeaky Toy - A Poem
[With apologies to Wall of Voodoo for parodying "Mexican Radio".]
I stick my nose innnnnto the basket.
I’ll make Beaureg. . .
Revenge
You may remember (I do, in spite of the therapy) that our bipeds forced us at gunpoint ... okay, by enticing us with treats ... . . .
Nearly Caught a Hare - A Poem
[With apologies to the members of Screaming Trees for messing up “Nearly Lost You”]
Did you hear that rustling,
Calling . . .
Rabbits!
The rabbits are coming! Hooray! Hooray!
The rabbits are coming! Hooray! Hooray!
Also sprach Bugs Bunny, and dang me if he wa. . .
New Sport
You've heard of ice dancing? Try deck dancing. I can't say I recommend it for those of us who've had leg surgery, though. Howeve. . .
Ban Santa Hats!!!
Okay, the nearest I can tell is that the bipeds got well-oiled on the riesling and made us wear these hats. Bad enough, but they. . .
Fire Cooking - A Poem
[With apologies to The Cult for messing up “Fire Woman”. This is based on my favorite Spring/Summer activity. And Fall/Winte. . .
Okay, We're Back
Beauregard and I are back after a long weekend in Chicago with Grandma and Grandpa. Yeah, THAT Grandma and Grandpa, the ones tha. . .
Don't Cold Nose Me Perlie - A Song
[Based on The Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me Baby”]
I am working in the basement under our wet bar
To stop a le. . .
So ...
So ...
The other day, Beauregard had found a rawhide chew somewhere in the house. Snoopy knows where it had been, given how w. . .
Give Biscuits to Me - A Poem
[With apologies to Poison for … no, wait, I cannot apologize to them, fer cryin out loud]
You know I never, never ever ge. . .
Sympathy for the Beagle - A Poem
[Based on the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy for the Devil”, of course]
Arf!
Arf!
Arf!
Wuff …
Please allow us. . .
Envoy - A Song
[This is based on what, I would guess, is your favorite C.W. McCall song, "Convoy".]
[Uh, breaker 1-9, Sir Barks-a-Lot, t. . .
Varmint Invasion!
We interrupt this rawhide chewfest for this important message: there was a rabbit under the deck! I kid you not, it was hiding t. . .
It's Time for Mojito Mania!
We're all off the medicine, and it is time to parrrrrrrr-TAY! Beauregeard, pit me an olive!. . .
Pig Ear - A Song
[With sincerest apologies to The Troggs. Everybody in the world has covered “Wild Thing”, so why not me?]
[Don’t answer. . .
Camp Rover Romp
Beauregard and I will be making a celebrity appearance at Camp Rover Romp at The Humane Society of Indianapolis this weekend. ht. . .
Popcorn again
Oh, do we love our daddy! He made popcorn for us, and this time he used olive oil. Such a great, delicate flavor. Normally he us. . .
Queen Perlie Girl - A Poem
[This post disappeared, so if it's showing up a second time, well, whoops. With apologies to Perl Jam – excuse me, Pearl Jam . . .
Pumpkin!
Oh boy have I got news for you!
It was decided recently that certain leg-injured beagles need to lose weight ... not that I w. . .
I Want You to Pet Me - A Poem
[With apologies to Cheap Trick]
I want you to pet me.
I need you to scratch me.
I’d love you to hug me.
I’m begging yo. . .
Giraffes! We Have Giraffes!
The female biped says so! She says they're out there with the squirrels! I haven't seen one yet but she has! She says so! She ev. . .
Close Call at Chez Beagle
We nearly had a dog pack expansion today. The large male biped has always wanted a bluetick coonhound, and today he saw this:
. . .
Win some, lose some
I went to the vet today for a follow-up exam and the vet was VERY pleased with my progress. He was so happy for me that I had to. . .
Satellite Dish - A Poem
[Based on Bush' "Machinehead" and inspired by my time having to wear that cone collar so I wouldn't lick my knee stitches.]
. . .
The Worst Part
You know what the worst part of this bum leg is? It's not lack of running. It's not wearing the satellite dish and bumping into . . .
Doing better
I started to put a tiny bit of weight on my leg yesterday evening ... not much, but some ... while running through the yard. Oh,. . .
Leg Injury Nutrition
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I've found something that makes post-op leg pain better: fresh Pillsbury grand biscuits! Daddy made some f. . .
Ow
Sore. Doped up; if could see colors would be tripping. Won't put weight on foot, can't squat to pee, haven't gone to bathroom in. . .
Where My Food Comes From - A Poem
[With apologies to Maxine Nightingale … what can I say, the original song was the end theme for Slap Shot]
Oo, yes it’s s. . .
Squirrel update
Okay, a squirrel has built a nest in a tree in our back yard. The female biped is worried about what we'll do to it, but any squ. . .
Surgery
Crap. It looks like I have a torn meniscus in my right rear knee and will need surgery afterall. *sigh* Just when raining camp i. . .
So Plain - A Poem
[Put on your bee costume, kids, this one's based on a Blind Melon song]
Aroo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Awroo-oo-oo.
All I can say is . . .
July 4 Weekend Report
What a weekend!
First, more bipeds showed up to stay with us over the weekend! Grandma and Grandpa -- no, not that Grandma an. . .
New sport
Okay, kids, listen up. Do you know those stepstools that some bipeds, particularly the biped pups, use in the kitchen? One got l. . .
Rabbit Underground
Beauregard and I have just flushed out a major terrorist cell. Rabbits have been living under the yard barn (or "castle" as Beau. . .
Lick It! - A Poem
[With apologies to Devo]
Knees to lick!
Lick that hand real quick.
Make her yell ick!
Give my tongue a flick.
When a bi. . .
Knee Surgery?!?!
I've been limping around the last couple weeks, favoring my right rear leg, and it's not gotten better. So the bipeds to took me. . .
Beagle Yell - A Poem
[Based on Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell"]
Just now a fat red squirrel
Came dancin’ on my deck.
Just now that darned red sq. . .
Squirrel Interrogation Technique
Beauregard and I trapped a squirrel over the weekend. She didn't have much information, but we do have a video of our interrogat. . .
Beaglelight - A Poem
[I have tried to post this for four days but the site seems to have been messed up. A LOT.]
[This is submitted with full apol. . .
Bipeds are back!
They're back! They're back! They're back!
Now we can resume our regularly scheduled course of queenly tribute. It's nice hav. . .
Beau Will Tear It Apart Again
[With full apologies to the former members of Joy Division.]
Beauregard bites a hole
On my new toy he stole.
And he tugs li. . .
Update on the Squirrel Front
They're back. We should have known, it had been quiet. Too quiet. They were on the deck this morning, and I must say that Bowie . . .
For the Love of Snoopy
Well, I guess it had to happen eventually. Beauregard has been very much the pickle ever since his birthday. Today he leapt onto. . .
A Celebration Day
Chez Beagle is certainly en fete today. From all corners comes the sound of laughing and clinking glasses, the toilet bowl water. . .
My Old Coonhound - A Poem
[Based on "Sweet Georgia Brown". The large male biped has always wanted a bluetick coonhound. A noble breed, though not a beagle. . .
Basset - A Poem
[With full apologies to Beck. This is based on my memories of Mose, my grandfather’s dog from my youth.]
In a time of lapdo. . .
Another one!
We just got another one from the Humane Society. And his name is Bowie. Well, that just might cause some confusion, I can tell y. . .
Goodbye to a Great One
We found out that our cousin Culeng, who owned the large male biped's brother's family, passed away after a long illness. There . . .
Good News on the Security Front
Okay, troops, and I use the term loosely, listen up. First, I am happy to report that the squirrels have fallen back and are not. . .
We Got a Terrorist Squirrel!
Troops, I am happy to report that Colonel Beauregard and I managed to catch, interrogate, and kill our first squirrel today! It . . .
This Dog Biscuit - A Poem
[With full apologies to The Psychedelic Furs. It seemed like every alternative band in the 90s covered this song, and there is a. . .
Dog Down Under - A Poem
[With apologies to Men at Work. Boy, the things I type when introducing these posts ... This is dedicated to Radley, an Australi. . .
Big Heart/Warm Bedspread -A Poem
[With full apologies to Cake. This and others are at http://www.laughingviking.com/ ]
I want a girl who can spoil her doggies. . .
Dewey Update
Hello, everyone. I was helping Dewey with an update. The poor guy is sleeping right now, so I promised to do it for him.
He c. . .
Beagle Like Me - A Poem
[With full apologies to TV on the Radio for ruining their great song Wolf Like Me]
Beagle Like Me
(by The Were-Beagle, aka. . .
The Devil Went Down to Southport
[I think I owe Charlie Daniels lunch now. Just please don't ask what inspired this.]
The Devil went down to Southport, he was. . .
Welcome to My Dogpack - A Poem
[With full apologies to Izzy Stradlin … the rest of Guns and Roses being beyond apology.]
[Oh my Snoopy…]
ROoooooooooo. . .
Uno - A Poem
[Poetry day will continue Friday, but this had to be posted ASAP, with full apologies to David Bowie. This just isn't the same w. . .
Vote for MEEEEEEEEE!
Go to http://www.spaydayusa.org/ and vote for ME! Right now! Search for "Perl", I'm the only one, and vote for ME! Right now!
. . .
Running with the Beagles - A Poem
[With apologies to Van Halen]
I gulp my food like there's no tomorrow.
And all I eat, Beau tries to steal.
I need to eat mo. . .
Crisis in Chez Beagle
Crisis, people, crisis! With Hugh leaving the large bipeds have been having serious conversations. They were talking freely beca. . .
My Beagle Queen - A Poem
[Daddy still loves me! He wrote this while listening to "Black Peach", his favorite song by The Elms! Daddy loves me! Daddy lo--. . .
Are You Gonna Feed This Dog
[And I really must apologize to the members of Jet, because the original is so great.]
Go!!
So 1, 2, 3, take my paw and co. . .
The SuperPerlie Theme Song - A Poem
[With full apologies to Jay Ward]
When you find yourself in danger,
Or you’re threatened by a stranger,
Who is big an. . .
Hound on the Run - A Poem
[With apologies to Sweet]
I, I, I,
Can't even hear my name
Cause I just saw wild game,
Just like every time be-for-or-o. . .
Bipeds say we're getting company
No poem this week, but I do have news. Last night, while I was under the dining room table and preparing my nose for an attack, . . .
Bipeds' mental health waning
Check out http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2096/2140229850_f7c183a8f0.jpg?v=0
This is the Viking New Year card that the bipeds . . .
Run Run Away - A Poem
[With full apologies to Slade]
Aw-roooo!
I hate fuzzy rats,
Think they are worse than cats.
Use them as doormats.
Run r. . .
A (re)Call to Arms ... or Legs
As some of you may recall ... by Snoopy’s ghost, look at http://www.indypaws.com/post/index/10 how could it be forgotten? ... . . .
In a Big Back Yard - A Poem
[In memory of the late Stuart Adamson of Big Country, it's time to put on your tartan and play that bagpipe-sounding guitar]
. . .
Pig ear bones!
I don't know how those bipeds do it. This week they gave us bone treats when we had to get crated one day. They were new bone tr. . .
My Favorite Thing - A Poem
My Favorite Thing
[Beauregard and I were having a serious discussion last night while the bipeds were trying to sleep; slacke. . .
Daily Exercise - A Poem
Out of the door and onto the deck
Snuffling and scrambling and running like heck.
Down the back steps and into the yard
The s. . .
Beaglepalooza
*ahem* It has come to the attention of The Beagle Queen -- namely, me -- that there hasn't been enough beagle-oriented content. . .
Belly Rub Day - A Poem
Belly Rub Day (A Poem)
(with full apologies to the members of U2)
The hand is a boon,
Reaching out from the biped grouch. . .
Perlie's Big Brown Pig Ear - A Poem
Perlie's Big Brown Pig Ear
(With sincerest apologies to Les Claypool and all the guys in Primus)
Now Perlie's loves he. . .
The Beagle
(With sincerest thanks ... and apologies ... to Edgar Allen Poe.)
The Beagle
Once upon a daytime dreary, while I pondered . . .
A classic poem (for a modern dog)
Twinkle twinkle little bat,
How I wonder where you're at.
Up inside the curtain so high,
Like a racecar in the sky.
Wish I h. . .
Health issue
So, this morning the large female biped took me in to the vet's. I've had a bit of a rough go of it lately. I'm smaller than Bea. . .
Bee sting kits
This weekend, while visiting the female biped's parents, the large male biped took Beauregard and me for our daily walks along a. . .
Serious question
There was a bat in the house this morning, and I darn near caught it, too. Unfortunately, right when I was ready to pounce, it t. . .
Sleeping through the Night
Okay, the large male biped is very angry with me. Three or four times a night, I whine enough to wake him up. Beauregard and I a. . .
Beaglemania
Beagles. We rule. We rock. We roll. We are the best, absolutely, without doubt. You know it, we know you know it, and you know w. . .
Squirrels and Homeland Security
I'm starting a petition to have squirrels recognized as de facto members of rodential terrorist groups by The Department of Home. . .
Owner: Richard
About Me: I got my current family from the Indianapolis Humane Society in October 2006. I was educated at the Indy K9 Kollege in Beech Grove in January of 2007, graduating summa howl loudly. We have a fine home on the south side, though the decor needs an update, and this new Beauregard pup wants watching.
Nicknames: Perlie, Perlgirl
My Motto: You know I'm in charge, just deal with it.
Likes: Belly rubs, food, sleep, food, running, food, squeaky toys, food, licking toes, food, sleeping in the bipeds' beds
Pet-peeves: spastic robins, wireless electric fence collars, spicy mustard, UPS trucks, squirrels
Best Tricks: Stealing mom's biscuits in the yard, hiding pig ears in plain sight
Favorite Activities: Running, sleeping, licking unsuspecting guests on the ankle and knee
Favorite Food: Polish sausage, popcorn, pillsbury grand biscuits
Favorite Toy: Either the blue chew bone or the rope bone. And bare legs.
Favorite Walk: The road course that Beauregard and I have run into the back yard, around the pine trees and deck pilings.
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